" I'm confused and very happy, I have to get used to it again, I have to rest, last night I didn't sleep because of the excitement and joy. The night before because of the anguish, I'm fine, I'm very happy ."

Thus Cecilia Sala , the journalist who returned yesterday from Iran where she was detained in Evin prison, recounted her days of detention by answering Mario Calabresi's questions in a special episode of the podcast on Choramedia.

In the long interview, Sala – even bursting into tears at times – talks about his arrest in the hotel, his arrival in prison, the loneliness of life in a cell, the fear and hope of his release, which came unexpectedly on Wednesday 8 January.

" It was not explained to me why I ended up in an isolation cell in Evin prison . This story begins with the fact that Iran is the country I most wanted to return to, where there are the people I have grown fond of . You try to have a shield from the suffering of others that you accumulate and sometimes sources you meet for work become friends, people you want to know how they are and Iran is one of those places."

The arrest : «I would have returned to Italy the next day, but they knocked on the door of my hotel room . I thought they were the cleaning ladies, I said I was working and I didn't open. But they insisted, so I opened and they took me away. At that moment I hoped it could be a quick thing, but from the first questions they asked me I understood that it wouldn't be quick ». Cecilia Sala had read about Abedini 's arrest in Italy: «I immediately thought that they might have the intention of using me for that. I was clear about this hypothesis and I thought it would be a very difficult exchange ».

The charges: "They interrogated me almost every day, every day in the first two weeks. I even considered the possibility of being accused of crimes such as advertising against the Islamic Republic, or much more serious. But the charges were never substantiated, they told me that I was accused of many illegal things done in many different places ."

Cecilia Sala reproached herself while she was in jail: "Before leaving I had considered the risk of being arrested and it is something I reproached myself a lot once inside . Before leaving I asked advice from many people, but the new government had shown little openness, granting visas to other foreign journalists. There was CNN, Paris Match".

Detention: "I never thought they would release me so soon. In your head, when you have nothing to do you don't get tired, you don't sleep, an hour seems like a week. The thing I wanted most was a book, something that could take me out, into a story that wasn't mine." The hardest thing was passing the time: " I counted the days, I counted my fingers, I read the ingredients of bread ."

Without lenses, the journalist continued, "I can't see and they didn't give me glasses except in the last few days because they are considered dangerous, you can break glass and use it to cut yourself. I couldn't write, have a pen, for the same reason, because it can turn into a weapon. I asked for the Koran because I thought it was the only book in English that they could have in a maximum security prison in the Islamic Republic and it wasn't given to me for many days. I had blankets but no pillows or mattresses. My luck is that I consider Persian cuisine fabulous, I ate a lot of rice, in the rice there were lentils, meat, the problem was not eating but sleeping ."

Cecilia Sala laughed twice in prison: " The first time I saw the sky and then when there was a little bird that made a funny sound. Silence is the enemy in that context and on those two occasions I laughed and I felt good. I concentrated on that moment of joy, I cried with joy."

"My safety," Sala also said, "has never been threatened, but in my head I thought they could have killed me. It's something you dream about, you're not very lucid because you don't sleep."

The release: «A guard told me at 9 in the morning yesterday. From prison I went straight to the airport and there I met the first Italian». Will she return to Iran? «I don't think so, but the idea of that country for me doesn't change, I will continue to love it in its complexity» .

Finally, a thought for those who have remained in Evin prison and will remain there for a long time: "There are people who have been in prison for a long time in Iran. One of the most complicated moments was thinking about how I would tell Farzanè, the woman I was with in the cell in the last few days and who would remain there, that they would release me. There is the sense of guilt of those who are lucky enough to be in the condition I am in now. I am therefore grateful to the people whose job it is to take care of those who are in the conditions I was in and are subjected to much longer incarcerations."

(Unioneonline/L)

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