"Sexuality and affection: let's not focus on ideological issues."
Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Leonardo Mendolicchio warns: "Parents shouldn't hide from taboos."The Chamber of Deputies has approved the Valditara bill. It will be passed to the Senate after the budget session. Sexual and emotional education is now available in middle and high schools. But only with parental consent. Leonardo Mendolicchio, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, specializes in eating disorders and adolescent mental health. He collaborates with two Rai programs: Storie Italiane and Fame d'amore . He opens his website with this thought: "In this time of great fragility, I believe in listening that heals." This is "his" education.
We're late. And separated.
"In this country, we turn everything into ideological debate. We forget that the world is changing radically. And that change must be interpreted, first and foremost by us adults."
Dangers?
"The information system is complex. Let's think about social media and how they deal with sexuality. Instead of focusing on educational and pedagogical activities, we debate schools, about the 'place'—right or wrong—where this topic should be addressed. It's absolutely anachronistic."
But it's natural to think about school.
"Yes, but we're forgetting the heart of the matter. We need to ask ourselves what we should teach our children about sexuality and affection. Instead, we focus on ideological issues. School isn't the only focus, so we're not addressing the content."
Politics hasn't made it: 34 bills have been proposed; even Tina Anselmi tried in 1980. A Catholic, a former partisan, and a female prime minister. Curious?
"It was a different country, with totally different cultural presuppositions than today. Politicians of that caliber aimed to make progress precisely in the direction of cultural growth."
Here, growth. The kids say the topic remains taboo in their families.
These are not easy topics; that taboo is almost natural. The emergency lies in the accessibility of sexual content. 14- and 15-year-olds have everything at their fingertips. I understand parents' difficulties, but they shouldn't hide from that taboo. I speak as a psychoanalyst: they have a duty to address it and be prepared.
Not a little.
"It's very important to help parents," Tina Anselmi recalled. "The issue of sexuality was a matter of public good, of healthy growth. A much higher principle than ideological concerns. Perhaps today's political class is struggling to prioritize. The future of our country is our children, not party politics."
I'll give in to the obvious. Sweden, 70 years of sex education. Today, it's the country with the greatest gender equality.
It's a sore point. In Italy, we have an old method for tackling new issues. We break down issues into individual segments. It's right to fight gender violence by educating about sexuality. But then there's the rest, which isn't unrelated. So it doesn't matter if a woman enters the labor market with 30 percent less economic capacity than her peers of the opposite sex. We don't address the gender gap, social discrimination.
So a limited vision.
We must all commit to a much broader cultural, social, political, and economic coherence. The models that work aren't those that debate "education or education." They are the social ones—and I emphasize social—that are based on a political model that creates an environment of respect.
We're already beyond that.
"We must be mindful of all disparities and inequalities. We can offer the best courses on emotional education, but they won't be effective unless discrimination is addressed."
Valditara Law, obvious question. At what age is sexual and emotional education necessary?
Tough question, the point is crucial. Let's be honest: our kids are exposed to sexual content at 9 or 10 years old. So let's take a protective approach. We offer serious, healthy, legitimate content. We have a competitor, not an enemy, called digital, and we don't actually control it. We need to be equipped for discussion, even when our children are in their pre-teen years. It can be useful and important.
Nicholas Scano