Roberto Zanda talks about himself for an hour and a half in a room at the municipal swimming pool in Cagliari. He works there. He is wearing a gray tank top and blue shorts. Classic uniform for a swimming coach "condemned" to the heat that smells of chlorine. Zanda is the ironman who crossed the deserts of five continents and then lost his hands and feet in 2018, at the Yukon Artic Ultra, the solo marathon on the snow of Canada. A minus 60 degree heaven-hell. "Frozen limbs," was the medical bulletin. Hence the four amputations, after the gangrenous tissues were literally mummified to be cut. He also passed through the Via Crucis of the risk of septicemia.

This would be enough to keep you glued to your seat and listen to it. Instead, just when Zanda jokes and says that his nickname is no longer ""Massiccione" but "differently Massive"", the past re-emerges. Bossy. The arms bent and the surgeon's work involuntarily exhibited. «Inside me – he underlines – there is always the child who runs away from the boarding school in Oristano and wants to walk 100 kilometers to return to his mother in Cagliari». He was seven years old. That family lost too soon remains a thought that continually knocks on the door of everyday life. So much so that it is no longer clear what the worst pain Zanda carries with her is. It's inside.

What life number is he at?

«On to the second one, which began on 6 February 2018. Now I no longer celebrate my birthday on 30 August but on that day. It's my rebirth. After seventeen hours in the snowy forests of Canada, having ended up outside the race course, with no one looking for me anymore, I was found. I took it for granted that I would die."

When did the marathon start?

«Five days earlier, but there was a 24-hour pause, just the night before the accident, because the thermometer had dropped below 50 degrees. There were about thirty of us at the starting line. I was the snow rookie, one of two Italians, the only one who hadn't had experience with the polar cold."

How many kilometers was each stage?

«Thirty and we had to tow a 60-70 kilo sled».

How did the accident happen?

«That night, between February 5 and 6, I lost the last reporting point. I tried several times to retrace a stretch but found myself upside down under a meter of snow. With quick movements, I tried to lift myself but the sled anchored me to the ground. Then I took off my mittens to unclip myself and immediately felt a burning sensation."

Immediate freezing?

"Yes. I took the flashlight and saw that the hands were white, except for the palm. I tried to shake them down, that is, to shake them downwards, but they didn't change color."

He also talks about it in his book "Life Beyond", published by Baldini+Castoldi: from checking his GPS, no one noticed that he had ended up off the track. Why?

"I don't know. Maybe they were asleep. The fact is that I was there, alone. I had to make a decision: choose the direction to go. My life became a crossroads, literally. I turned right, my feet took me there."

Where?

«Where a sleigh passed. It happened half an hour after I made an invocation. Begging the heavens, I said: 'Take my feet and hands, but let me live.'"

In the meantime, what condition were you in?

«I even had to take off my shoes because snow had fallen. I had been as a person can be at minus fifty degrees for seventeen hours. I'm miraculously alive. I had also already decided where to die. I chose one tree in particular. It gave me the feeling of having found a warm, safe place. After the initial despair, I was reassured."

Did you report the Yukon organization?

"No. Suing a Canadian company would have cost me too much and would have taken several years. I would have lost my peace of mind. I have never been ambitious with money, I have always focused on other goals."

Guy?

«Buying my own house, given that as a child, before entering college, I lived with my family in fifty square meters, in via Podgora in Cagliari. We were nine children. In a room measuring three by four metres, seven people slept on bunk beds. I have always wanted a normal life, I wanted to create a family."

How did your embrace of sport come about?

«I have never lacked the spirit of competition. So much so that around the age of 40, at the end of the nineties, I approached triathlon and founded the Survival company. Meanwhile, I had finished prepaying the mortgage on my house in Elmas. In those years I also gave up a job as an employee at 3A in Arborea. I didn't want to have masters, I wanted to be free. The death of my mother was decisive."

What year was it?

«1997. She played Lotto a lot: she dreamed of making some winnings to give money to us children».

What was his name?

«Piera Cardia. He won the Videolina Bullfight with the song “Romagna mia”. I recently happened to watch the episode again. In his poverty he was happy. I, on the other hand, am the eternally dissatisfied one."

What other jobs has he done?

«I was a reservist paratrooper at Folgore. I traveled the world with them: Central America, Russia, Israel. Even at that time I was always looking for something particular, a sport that I was completely passionate about. Only by doing the ironman did I find my dimension: I was finally dedicating myself to something that was impossible for many. This gave me energy. And the more tired I got, the better I felt. Even in Canada: I can't forget the Northern Lights in the middle of the race. A ballet of colors that seemed prepared for me. The spectacle of nature on my left. The darkness and the cold as the only travel companions and me in the front row, sitting on the sled."

The Yuko Artic Ultra is the toughest marathon in the world. In his edition everyone had withdrawn.

«I felt envious when the other athletes left, one after the other. But at the same time I was climbing in the rankings and this gave me energy. I have never regretted not giving up. Sometimes they ask me if I would do it all again. I always answer “yes”. You can't want to go back just because something went wrong."

What did you discover with this second life?

«I discovered a second Roberto Zanda: not the tough, massive and crazy one, but a thoughtful man, whose strength has never changed. I continue to do 90 percent of the things I did before, although the fatigue is greater, for obvious physical reasons. I remember the beginning, as soon as I got my prosthetic legs: to come here to the pool I woke up at 4 and took the train from Elmas. I was constantly in danger of falling. Friends told me: “But who makes you do it?”. But I felt that I had to immediately return to my world, I couldn't retreat into the house. Now I have also learned how to clean mussels. When I have an obstacle to overcome, I stop and reflect on what the best solution is. I also continue to do the Sunday market, in Piazza Giovanni in Cagliari, where I sell my book and military clothes."

Is happy?

«Happiness is made up of moments. I can say that I am calm, yes. I left behind the fear of seeing myself in the mirror. When I returned home after the amputations, it was very hard to deal with the new Roberto. I was no longer the tough guy I had dedicated my life to. Fortunately, the doctors in Turin made this graft for me in this left hand: I have a claw that allows me to grip it. It's like having two fingers. Ten, perhaps, is too many: many fewer are enough. When we don't have physical problems, we take too many things for granted. We don't realize that the real and only barriers are mental ones. The body is at the top of the pyramid of life and we must learn to treat it well. Otherwise that machine sooner or later gets stuck."

Are you afraid of dying today?

"No. I have always had difficulties to overcome, even in my first life. And I always carried with me the inner hole of the child sent to boarding school. A hole that I only managed to cover in the solitude of the deserts and when I got married at 55. In my first life I was going around at full speed, now I have developed greater sensitivity. You have to learn to adapt to any situation. I had to reshape my head. And even today, when some little cloud becomes a thought and prepares to unleash the storm, I dialogue with myself. Even out loud."

Do you believe in destiny?

«Yes, everything is marked. For two years I have lived in a new house, in Decimoputzu, surrounded by nature, as I had always wanted. I couldn't find my kingdom. But then it materialized. I called it Villa Folgore: at the entrance there is an eight meter flagpole with the Italian flag."

What do you think about most often from your kingdom?

«I also learned to fight against daily pain: the prosthetic legs continually create blisters, the liquid from which I suck out with a syringe. But when I rest in the evening, I feel peace. In my first life, fatigue made me feel immortal, now I feel the beauty of stopping. I enjoy the moment. Every day became precious. Suffering, whether we like it or not, is part of life. We just have to try not to waste time, because it can't be recovered."

Can you hear your brothers?

«No, we were family for too short a time. And also with a sometimes violent father. In college he came to visit me only once, accompanied by another woman."

And his mother?

«I saw her after three years. The day I tried to escape to return to her in Cagliari, I fell asleep on the Carlo Felice. A couple of gentlemen found me and I was taken back to boarding school. In reality, I should have run away with Paolo, who then didn't have the courage. Over time we got lost. I found him again as an adult, one evening, where I lived as a child. He was very thin, consumed by drugs. Then nothing more. Until one afternoon, while I was looking for my mother's grave in the cemetery, I saw Paolo's. It didn't have a flower. I took two from another, where there was a photo of a young woman. Whom I asked for permission."

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