Co-host for one evening of the transmission Le Iene, Elena Santarelli moved the audience of Italia 1 with a poignant monologue on the illness of her son Giacomo.
The child, who is now 12 years old, son of the showgirl and former footballer Bernardo Corradi, was struck in 2017 by a brain tumor. A long ordeal with a happy ending, as Giacomo is healed, but which has definitely left its mark on mother Elena.
"Tonight I am not talking about my son's illness", he said, "but about how to live again, during and after the illness".
"I was ashamed of doing it. I heard words that made me feel dirty. Like: 'But how can you leave your son alone?'. I was ashamed to go back to work, to go out to dinner with my husband. going to the hairdresser when I heard another woman whisper: 'What is Santarelli doing here? I would stay at home with a sick child' ".
She always went home: “And I immediately threw myself in the shower to cleanse myself of the dirt that those looks had stuck on me”.
Judgments that made her feel like an inadequate mother: “I said to myself 'You suck, what did you think of?'. I scratched off the freshly put polish on my nails, I felt bad that I had taken a piece of life for myself. Those looks and those words tell you that you can only be next to your child, they forbid you to be other than the disease ".
It does not end there, "there is another thing that prevents you from returning to live". Thing? “The sense of guilt for the luck you had, because so many friends I met in the hospital today no longer have their children. And that luck I felt I didn't deserve more than them. So I tried to hide my happiness, but they told me not to be ashamed ”.
Santarelli barely holds back her tears, and concludes: “I felt like a wrong mother, but I don't want to do it anymore. And don't do it either, don't be afraid to come back to life ".
(Unioneonline / L)