He tried twenty-two times, without success (thank goodness). Of course, sometimes they were clumsy attempts, and even he understood that the idea of a bar of soap to slide on wouldn't have been a good one. Another, however, really seemed dead, and he was surprised to discover that the maid, instead of calling the police or an ambulance, after having jerked him several times without him waking up, had tidied up the house, bought a red carnation and finally, she had cried for him.

Andrea Pinna talks about his illness lightly during the chat with Lorenzo Paolini and Leonardo Tondo, at the headquarters of the Sardinian Union in Cagliari, for the presentation of his latest book "Il mio side B(polar)", just published by HarperCollins Italia. Perhaps what saved the creator from Cagliari was a correct diagnosis - bipolar disorder - and the right therapy, but also his irony. His ability to smile at the more or less frightening troubles that life enjoys distributing at random, and always when you least expect it.

"A light wit", defined it by Paolini, editorial director of the Sardinian newspaper, which illuminates the sincere story of the influencer, known to the general public for "Leperledipinna", an Instagram page with almost 500 followers, and other publications. His was "a rollercoaster journey", suggests the back cover: from excitement to depression, an up and down, as is typical of bipolar disorder. If the journey is now over, and proceeds on more placid tracks, the credit - recognizes Pinna - goes to Leonardo Tondo, a well-known psychiatrist, professor of psychiatry and director of the Bini Center in Cagliari.

The thirty-seven year old is at the height of his success when he begins to feel ill, very ill. Hallucinations, panic attacks, persecution delusions. Something wrong. Once he had six bottles of white wine delivered because he couldn't possibly leave Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Gina Lollobrigida without anything. There is also Tom Cruise at his house but he stays in a corner and doesn't bother, instead, the Italian diva wants him to make him a coffee. Another is Milan, where he lives, on foot in his pajamas; he often gives away the money he withdraws from the bank, or gives tips like a Russian oligarch to the riders who deliver him food and drinks, preferably wine. «When you're sick you don't know what will happen, I'm not saying tomorrow, but the next two hours. If you get drunk, you know it and that reassured me." In this way he also granted some respite to those close to him, or tried to: his family, his friends, but also the policemen who he often sought to report Tizio who wanted to harm him, or Caio who was hunting him. «Mr. Pinna, is it you?», they now recognized his delusions.

You can't help but smile with Andrea Pinna, or not empathize with his pain, because in the story, despite the lightness, you can feel all the difficulties linked to mental illness. A sneaky condition because it is often latent, it appears suddenly and steals your life. Actually, worse: it steals your identity.

«I practiced self-destruction» says Pinna, and admits that he has abused alcohol, drugs, that he has seriously attempted to kill himself, like the time he climbed onto the ledge, and thank goodness he didn't have the courage because then from there , after he had jumped, a child had passed by... no, better not.

A person who actively works to take their own life is a person who has a mental disorder, and is in desperate need of help. Pinna understood this: he went to the clinic, followed the drug therapy: «A hug is not enough», and now he keeps the mood swings at bay.

If he decided to tell this story, he says, it is to dismantle the stigma of mental illness, and to suggest that asking for help can save your life.

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